Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
