you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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