I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize