This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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