i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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