i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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