Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
