I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
too bad you live with your parents still
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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