Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My glasses were in the garbage this morning