True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat