If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
