I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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