yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
