I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I still have a little drunk in my system
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
