you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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