my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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