meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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