Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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