Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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