Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
