Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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