I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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