My underwear smells like fireworks.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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