i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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