yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
