I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
