Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
