Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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