He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
