It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
