super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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