You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
