Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
