dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
