when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
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