Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
