yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
