I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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