Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
