There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
