I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize