talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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