did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
