Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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