Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And then he peed in my hair
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