I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
kristin has been a bad kristin
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
