i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the condom got lost in my hair
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
