Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
