so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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