Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
