uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
