I wish I only lived at night.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
