i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
