I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want nice things and good sex
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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