Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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