Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
