a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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