Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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