When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
