dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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